No. 500 "Is Loving Someone the Same as Approving Everything They Do?" 2026 09 20

No. 500 "Is Loving Someone the Same as Approving Everything They Do?" 2026 09 20 " It's their choice — can't we just respect that?" It's a phrase we hear often. Refusing to reject people over differences of thought, taste, or background is genuinely admirable. No one deserves to be mocked or written off. But does respecting a person really mean agreeing that every thought, every choice they make is right? We often mistake love for "never questioning anything." When a friend keeps choosing a relationship that's hurting them, we say, "As long as you're happy." When someone keeps wounding the people around them, we say, "They must have their reasons." It avoids conflict — but is it really love? Scripture draws a clear line between embracing a person and approving everything they do. Jesus ate at the same table with tax collectors and sinners. The religious leaders of His day saw this as a compromise of holiness. But Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick" (Mark 2:17). A doctor walking into a hospital room isn't declaring the illness a good thing — he's drawing near in order to heal. Jesus never pushed sinners away in shame, but He never called sin harmless either. He met people exactly where they were — but He never left them there. In the same way, listening to someone is not the same as agreeing with their conclusion. Respecting a person is not the same as approving their actions. Forgiving someone is not the same as erasing what they're responsible for. Simply agreeing with everything may ease the moment, but it doesn't consider a person's whole life or future. On the other hand, tearing someone down with "Why are you always like this?" isn't love either. Even a true statement, spoken that way, defines a person by their failure — and what they feel first isn't correction, but shame. Gospel-shaped love speaks differently: "I value you. That's why I want to hear you out completely. But I also want to think through, together with you, how this choice might affect you — and the people around you." At the cross, God says to us: "Your sin is not a small thing. But I will not give up on you." God never called our wrongdoing acceptable. And He never abandoned us because of it. Christ took the penalty for our sin upon Himself, and opened for us a new way to live. So today: Am I avoiding a truth someone needs to hear, hiding behind the word "respect"? And on the other hand — when I do speak the truth, am I tearing down someone's dignity in the process? The gospel meets us exactly as we are. But it never leaves us there.