No. 505 “Not Saying Nothing, but Governing the Tongue” October 25, 2026

No. 505 “Not Saying Nothing, but Governing the Tongue” October 25, 2026 Have you ever sent a message and regretted it right away? Everyone has fired off a text written in anger and only then thought, “If only I had waited a little.” A word, once spoken, can’t be taken back. We often think of honesty as “saying everything we want to say.” But the Bible doesn’t call it freedom to pour out whatever we feel the moment we feel it. “Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city” (Proverbs 16:32). Governing the tongue is not a technique for keeping your mouth shut. It is taking your heart to God before anger and pride come out in words. Words set the direction of a relationship. “Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark” (James 3:5). A single remark can destroy trust that took years to build. Yet “a word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver” (Proverbs 25:11), precious and beautifully fitting. That is why silence is not an escape. It is a choice to discern whether our words will give life or leave a wound. But silence is not always wisdom. If you close your mouth while condemning the other person in your heart, that is suppressed anger. If you stay quiet when you ought to speak because you are afraid, that is avoidance. “There is a time to be silent and a time to speak” (Ecclesiastes 3:7). When Pilate confronted him with false accusations, Jesus did not answer a single word (Matthew 27:12–14; Isaiah 53:7). But that silence did not come from fear or helplessness. He knew the road he had to walk, and when the truth needed to be spoken, he spoke it plainly (John 18:37). Even on the cross he did not retaliate (1 Peter 2:23), and when he did open his mouth, he said, “Father, forgive them” (Luke 23:34). The One who could have defended himself with words bore our sins in our place instead. Those who know this grace can begin to be freed from the compulsion to prove themselves with words. Still, this cannot be done by resolve alone. James tells us that no human being can tame the tongue (James 3:8). So we have to ask for help in prayer: “Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips” (Psalm 141:3). Self-control is fruit that the Spirit produces in us (Galatians 5:22–23). Before you speak, ask yourself: Is it true, or is it only a feeling? Does it build up the one who hears (Ephesians 4:29), or tear them down? Am I speaking in love (Ephesians 4:15), or exaggerating out of emotion? If you are unsure about even one of these, pause. Take a breath and pray briefly. Is the thing I am so determined to say today meant to give the other person life, or to soothe my wounded pride? For every word I need to swallow, isn’t there also a word of thanks or encouragement I need to offer? A person who governs the tongue is not someone who says nothing. It is someone who knows how to say what truly needs to be said, at the right time, in love.